Personality Vs Behaviour (Don’t hate someone for their personality)

There is always that one person at your workplace who just gets on your nerves. Sometimes that person might not even be part of your team.

She could be part of a different team altogether. But when you see her or hear her speaking, you just can’t accept her. You get annoyed and start hating that person. Not only at workplace, but in general you might find that one odd person who irritates you to the core. Restaurants, pubs, bus station, the person sitting next to you at a clinic.

What’s happening?

You are not able to come in terms with their personality. Somehow their personality is not in harmony with your worldview. You think why this person even exists?

What’s wrong?

Actually it has nothing to do with their personality, it has more to do with your thinking and perception. Personalities are formed over number of years, the upbringing, environment, deep personal traumas, the good experiences and bad experiences.

Then what is behaviour?

Behaviour is WHAT we do, personality is how we THINK, FEEL and WHY we tend to behave in a certain way. 

Behaviour is nothing but a response. 

Your boss shouts at you for not following a procedure, that is a behaviour.

It is his response for your action.

Is it justifiable? Absolutely not.

Did you boss have an option to respond in a different manner? Perhaps give you a feedback? Of course!

But instead, he chose to shout at you at that instant.

This is completely unacceptable.

Does this have something to do with his personality? Could be, but it doesn’t give him the right to shout and behave in that manner.

Now you can’t address the personality which could be neurotic, shot-tempered because of genetic or physiological reasons. Your boss tends to overreact at slightest provocations but that overreaction affects people around him in a negative way.

You could definitely do something about shaping the behaviour. You could tell him that this approach is unacceptable or simply go to the HR hoping that they would take some corrective action.

The bottomline is, hating someone for their personality, the way they carry themselves is not correct. They have the right to have a personality, if it doesn’t fit into your worldview, it is your problem.

But don’t go kind on nasty behaviour. You have all the right to respond appropriately if the behaviour of other person affects your well being.

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